It takes work to be a Working Super- Mum before sunrise.

5:30am   Damn, the alarm won’t be going off for another half an hour but my bladder is screaming at me to move it or I’ll be in real strife. Might as well stagger into the shower and  get an extra cup of quiet liquid sanity before I have to drag the kids up.

5:40am  The first mirror fright of the day. God help me, I am looking more like my mother every day. Must remember to buy super strength concealer.

5:50am  Heading to turn on the kettle for double strength coffee. ( my catalogue circled HINT for a coffee machine went unnoticed )

Oh pee-ew.....I thought the kids let the cat out last night. My nose tells me otherwise.  Sigh....I love kicking off my day cleaning up kitty poop off the floorboards. NOT.

6am  Where did that bonus half hour go? I don’t suppose I could start a new towel turban trend at work? No? Ok hairdryer it is then. If I bang around loudly enough it may awaken the sleeping creatures and save me the drama.

6:05am  Obviously I am being too stealthy in my morning preps. Time to pull out the big guns: TV on....woops, must have had it up a tad loudly last night!  ( nobody around to see me flick up the volume control, all good. )

Better get some of this caffeine ingested before somebody gets hurt.

6:10am  How dare the infomercial people be so bright and cheerful ( and glamorous) at this hour. ( sleepily forget that they are pre-recorded ) Promise self to get on cross trainer tonight to obtain buns of steel. Would be happy with aluminium.

6:15am  Right, time to get serious. Into child No 3’s room. No more nice mummy: light on! Creature under the cover screams and moans. I look for feet to tickle. Moans turn to shrieks. Covers fly back. Creature sits up. My mission here is complete.

6:20am  Time to face the mirror again. Maybe I should buy some of that face lift stuff off that infomercial.

Two attempts at applying a straight line of eye liner. I haven’t yet mastered the trick of doing it with my glasses on that I need to actually see with.

Wishing I knew how to make my eyelashes “long and luscious” without looking like I have gone a round with Jeff Fenech.

6:25am  Check to see if Son is dressing and pulling on socks that won’t walk themselves to school.

Slug another cup of coffee for luck.

6:30am  The big decision of the day that all women dread.........WHAT TO WEAR TODAY??? First ask 3 questions:

1. Am I having an I- feel- bloated- kind -of- day?

2. Who will I need to impress today? Is the cute guy at Cibo’s working?

3.  What is clean in my closet?

Okay I suppose the weather has a small part to play in the decision making process, but can be disregarded any day to look super swish in a new outfit.

Accessories are important. You can go from drab to fab with the perfect necklace.

6:40am  Where are those shoes???

6:45am  Quickly slap together a sandwich and do an apple grab. Chuck in lunch box for the hopefully now ready child.

Teeth clean, quick loo stop after early coffee.

Deep breath and prepare.......

6:50am  Enter Daughter’s room. Find poop dropping culprit curled innocently on the quilt. Kiss Child No 2’s head. Sleepy eyes squinting at me, followed by: “ Do I have to go to school?” My reply: ( proving I am now awake and firing on all cylinders) “ Yes, and if you don’t  I will call child services and you’ll find out what they do with truant kids. Now hurry up or you’ll miss the bus.” 

Time for my last mission.

OK This is it. Eldest teenage son’s door. Opening gingerly, just to make sure nothing dead falls out at me. Nope, not today. Hmm smells like there’s something decomposing in there though. More than likely his favourite crusty sneakers. “ Time to get up” is the first morning shout. No reaction will receive a “ZAC, GET UP!”. Still no response and I get to have some fun......press the alert button on my car alarm.  ( even more fun as the garage is directly opposite his room. Evil, yes, but payback for three years of sleepless nights when he was a wee baby )That usually does the trick and has him bolting up.

6:55am  Still chuckling, herd No 3 child into the car to take to Before School Care. Thank God they serve breakfast there or I’d have to do a Macca’s brecky run.

6:56am  We’re off!

6:56.30am  We’re reversing down the street because I still have my fluffy purple slippers on.

6:57am  Dash inside. THERE’S those shoes...again.

6:59am  After another bladder drain, we’re off. Again. On the one and a half hour trip to work.

Is it time to go back to bed yet??